The Severus Snape Advent Calendar, Take 4
by HappyAuriga
Summary: The title says it all, doesn't it? It's the fourth in a series but can be read seperately.
1. 1

*1*

Severus swore under his breath as he walked up the neat gravel driveway. The cry of a peacock interrupted the peace of the snow covered park. The fact that Lucius's cherished white peacocks were as good as invisible in the snow caused him a moment of glee but the pleasure was short. A summons by the Dark Lord left never room for much joy.

The potions master was shocked to find out that the meeting was a full one with each and every deatheater present. What was even worse, they all seemed to be waiting for him! Had he been found out? With effort, Severus controlled his breathing. He wiped his hands on his robes and straightened his shoulders.

"My Lord!" He stepped in front of the throne-like armchair Voldemort was occupying and sank to his knees. Keeping his head low, he lifted the hem of the dark wizard's robes to his mouth and kissed it.

"Severus," hissed the man in the armchair in an uncommonly merry tone. "Get up my friend. You may be surprised why I asked you here with all your brothers and sisters in arms witnessing our meeting."

"It is not my station to question my Lord," muttered the potions master. He got up but kept his head bowed.

"I have called you here to pay you back."

Severus had to use all his willpower not to panic. This was it! He had been found out. In his effort to keep himself from hyperventilating, he nearly missed the Dark Lord's next words.

"During the past three years, you shared a little something with me and my most trusted, your advent calendar. This year, we have decided to return the favour." He clicked his fingers and his robes changed to a Christmassy red with white fur trimmings. A woman in red high-heel boots and a very short fur trimmed red dress stepped beside him with a silver tray. Severus had to look twice to recognise Bellatrix Lestrange. What had the Dark Lord promised to her to make her wear that jelly bag cap?

The Dark Lord removed a red cloth from the tray with flourish to reveal a small Christmas tree. Instead of glass balls, little skulls hung from the tree's branches and instead of an angel, a hooded dementor sat at the top of the tree.

"Let me present you your new advent calendar," cried the Dark Lord. "Every day, one of the skulls will light up. Touch it with the tip of your wand and you will receive your gift."

"Twenty-four gifts from my Lord? I'm deeply honoured," Severus bowed as low as his discs would allow him.

"Alas," smiled Voldemort, "this is not only my work although I did the main part of it. All your brothers and sisters you honoured in the past have contributed their magic."

Severus turned to look at the assembled deatheaters. "Thank you, my brothers and sisters in arms!"

"Enough gratitude expressed," the Dark Lord interrupted. He pointed at a gleaming skull at one of the lower branches. "Open it!"

Severus drew his wand. "Who made it?" he asked curiously.

"I don't know," the Dark Lord made a dismissive gesture. "We had a heated discussion about who should make which one. In the end we decided to have a chance spell light the skulls up. That way it's more fun for the makers. Nobody can tell what you will get when. Open it!"

Bellatrix held the tray in front of Severus to give him better access to his calendar. The potions master touched the tiny skull with the tip of his wand.

The Dark Lord fell to the ground, screaming. Luckily Severus had the presence of mind to cast 'Finite incantatem!' at once. The dark wizard scrambled to his feet.

"Who cast this spell!" he roared. "Present yourself or I will torture you all until I know!"

Several deatheaters stepped forward. Severus swallowed hard. This calendar was dangerous! "It seems, my Lord," he snarled, "we need to know what exactly happened before we can name the culprit."

The Dark Lord blushed but his wish for revenge won over embarrassment. "Who of you pulled my pants up to my nipples?" he hissed.

It was Wormtail who stepped forward. "Forgive me, my Lord," he stammered. "The spell was supposed to work on the first person of impure blood Severus met."

"Your spell work has always been sloppy," growled the Dark Lord. He cast a spell at the unlucky wizard. "Maybe this will teach you a lesson. – Return to Hogwarts now, Severus!"

The potions master bowed, took the tray from Bellatrix and left in a flourish of robes. Wormtails's screams echoed through the house; and even a distance down the driveway, Severus could still hear him.


	2. 2

*2*

Severus was woken by a blinking light. It took him a minute to realise that it was one of the skulls on his new advent calendar which was seeking his attention at the crack of dawn. The potions master turned his back on the little tree on his bedside table but the light increased in brightness; it was like having a beacon in his bedroom.

With a sigh Severus reached for his wand. If the tree insisted he opened his window at this time every morning, it was going to be a long time until Christmas. He steeled himself for the worst before he touched the tip of his wand to the tiny skull.

Nothing happened.

First Severus was puzzled but then he remembered what Wormtail had said: His spell was triggered by the presence of a person of impure blood. What if the new skull had a similar mechanism? Who knew what was going to happen to the first muggleborn student who entered the potions classroom?

Alarmed, Severus called for a house elf to fetch the headmaster.

"Are you sure?" Dumbledore asked. He sounded worried.

"How can I be sure? The blasted thing has been made by deatheaters!" snarled Severus. "For all I know it could play me a lullaby when I go to bed in the evening. I wouldn't put it past Lucius and a dozen others to wake me early just to make me enjoy that more in the evening."

"This is a very inconvenient situation," mused the headmaster. He stared at the little dementor on top of the tree.

"What can we do? I can't hide in my quarters until Christmas and not even that may help for we don't know for how long the spell would wait for a victim."

"We have to trigger it under controlled circumstances," Dumbledore stroked his beard. "We need a half-blood or a muggleborn who can deal with the spell. Do you think it's dangerous?"

"They wouldn't risk my position," Severus pointed out. "I guess it would be something similar to what Wormtail did; some crude joke. I don't think the calendar is supposed to cause permanent harm."

"That's reasonable. Let's do this in my office."

They took the floo to avoid Severus meeting younger students. Then the headmaster called for his intended guinea pigs.

Potter and Granger didn't look thrilled to be called to the headmaster's office before breakfast, especially when Dumbledore explained the situation and dismissed them when nothing happened.

The potions master and his superior decided to follow their lead and head down to breakfast. By the time they reached the Great Hall, Severus had nearly forgotten his advent calendar. He returned Minerva and Pomona's greetings and sat left of Dumbledore.

"Mmh, are these caramel muffins?" the headmaster reached for one.

Severus made a non-committal noise. He preferred his breakfast salty. He reached for the bacon.

"Coffee, Severus?" asked Dumbledore.

The potions master nodded. "Yes, please." He watched the older man pour him a cup of the hot liquid. There was nothing better than a nice cup of black coffee to start the day. With a small sound – he'd never admit he had purred – Severus took his first sip.

There were outcries and shrieks throughout the hall. Alarmed, Severus opened his eyes. The whole student body was soaked with tea, coffee, milk or whatever they had chosen to drink with breakfast.

"What happened?" Severus whispered urgently.

Dumbledore wiped coffee off his face. "The moment you touched your lips to your cup, every single cup in the room erupted with whatever it was filled with. What a mess!"

Severus smirked. "I was right. No permanent harm done."

The headmaster rolled his eyes. "Hurray."


	3. 3

*3*

Severus woke early the next morning although there was no blinking skull in his bedroom. The latter had two reasons: firstly, Severus had banned the tree to his mantle piece and secondly, the skull of the day didn't blink but only glowed softly.

Since there didn't seem to be any urgency to get his gift, the potions master decided to wait until lunch and ask somebody – preferably a muggleborn – to join him for the occasion. After a short inventory of his Slytherin sixth and seventh years, he had to admit that there was no suitable student in his own house.

Once he had admitted to himself that he needed to turn to a different house than Slytherin for help, it was easy to decide whom to ask. Granger was an annoying know-it-all but she was indisputably the brightest student at Hogwarts at the time being. Even better, she was among the most powerful, so she should be able to withstand whatever the Dark Lord and his servants had decided to throw at him, Severus Snape.

"Miss Granger," he called when the class packed their things at the end of the lesson, "a quick word if you please."

The girl walked up to his desk and looked at him questioningly. Potter and Weasley lurked at the back of the classroom.

The potions master's first impulse was to send them off but he stopped himself. Potter was a halfblood and seeing him suffer could be fun. An advent calendar was supposed to be fun, wasn't it? He beckoned them to come closer. Having a pureblood in the group couldn't hurt either; just in case.

"Miss Granger, you and Mr Potter were asked to the headmaster's office yesterday to test a spell. Later you were subject to it in the Great Hall."

"That was you?" snarled Weasley. "My best jumper is as good as ruined!"

Severus snorted. "You are in seventh year. Thus you should be able to remove some tea stains."

"There was milk in my tea!" The boy glared at him as if that changed anything.

"Be that as it may, I have to ask you for more help." The potions master swore the trio to secrecy before he explained why he needed their assistance. "I'm sure that the Dark Lord wants to avoid me losing my position. I expect the spells to be harmless for an adult but I'm not sure about the first years."

Weasley looked ready to kill. "You want us to be your guinea pigs!"

"I'm sure you have nothing to fear. You are a pureblood," Severus pointed out.

"My pureblood jumper is ruined," growled the red haired boy.

"That's an argument," shrugged Severus. "Still, it's your own fault you are incompetent."

"We'll do it," interfered Potter before his best friend could throw an angry reply at the potions master. "We're talking about first years dealing with deatheater magic, Ron."

"Just tell us what you need us to do," agreed Granger.

"I need you to be present when I open my window; preferably every day."

"Alright; when?"

"I suggest doing it during the lunch break. Meet me at my office. If the spell insists I open the window earlier, I will notify you." Severus led the way to his office where the calendar sat waiting on his desk.

"Ew, ugly!" The boys made faces.

Granger stooped to see the little tree better. "It's a nice piece of magic. Look, I can see single fir needles."

"The Dark Lord made it! He may be evil but he's also a very powerful wizard. Of course it is excellent." Severus snapped.

"Yes, he's an artist. Why don't you try to get him to sign it?" drawled Weasley. Severus hoped there was a spell on the tree which worked on purebloods; a painful one.

"Are you ready?" Severus decided to ignore the boy for the moment.

The trio drew their wands and took a step back. At their nods, he touched the glowing skull. A plate of gingerbread men materialised on the desk.

"How nice!" cried Granger. She looked at the gingerbread men longingly. Grudgingly, Severus held the plate out to the Gryffindors. Each took a gingerbread man. It was strange to share biscuits with the Golden Trio but the gingerbread was delicious.

At dinner, Dumbledore informed Severus that Granger and Potter had missed all their afternoon lessons due to stomach cramps. Weasley, being a pureblood, had remained unaffected.

"It's strange, though," said the headmaster. "You are a halfblood yourself. Why didn't you fall ill?"

"The calendar was made for me," Severus smiled. "Remember, the first spell hit the Dark Lord rather than me." It was good to know that at least he wasn't going to suffer his fellow deatheaters' weird sense of humour personally.


	4. 4

*4*

Potter and Granger came to his office the next day as promised, Weasley in tow, but the girl looked belligerent.

"If we help you," she said, "and we're willing to for the younger students' sake, then we need your word that you will help us catch up with the lessons we miss because of," she pointed at the advent calendar sitting on the desk, "this." Potter nodded in agreement.

Severus raised a brow. Had Harry Potter just asked for lessons with him? Granger, he could understand. The girl was an excellent student and had she been in Slytherin she would have been the pride of the house, but Potter?

Being a Slytherin, Severus weighed his other options – none – before he agreed.

"This means we'll talk about transfiguring primitive plants into trees and memory charms today," Granger said in a businesslike tone. "Here; after dinner; is that alright for you?"

The potions master nodded. "I can demonstrate Legilimency if you like." He smirked at Potter who went pale as a ghost. "Are you ready?" He looked at the calendar pointedly.

The girl nodded, ignoring her friends.

Severus touched the skull which was flickering from within as if the soft light was caused by a miniscule candle. Nothing happened. He turned around to face Potter and Granger who were waiting with their wands ready.

Suddenly there was a roar and a hooded figure appeared in front of Severus.

Granger shrieked and Potter sent a patronus at the potions master.

Severus had to close his eyes against the blinding light the stag was emitting as it galloped around the office. The potions master pointed his wand at the raging protector, ready to catch any jar it pushed from the shelves.

It disappeared a minute after the hooded figure had vanished.

"Bloody hell! What was that?" panted Weasley.

"I have no idea," admitted Severus.

"Is this new?" Granger stepped closer to him and pointed at his chest.

Severus looked down. A shiny new silver clasp was holding his robes. It was a delicate piece of craftsmanship. The angry face seemed almost alive.

"It looked as if the clasp came to life," Granger interrupted Severus's inspection of his new trinket.

"It didn't really attack you, did it?" the potions master asked, worried. He tried to remove the clasp from his robes but it refused to open.

Potter shook his head. "I think it was supposed to scare us, not harm us."

"That's at least something," sighed Severus. "I wouldn't like to miss my afternoon duties." Scaring students silly in the corridors was one of his favourite weekend pastimes.

"Do you really think it's wise to walk through the corridors with this jumping at the students?" asked Granger.

"Why not," Weasley chimed in. "His students are scared of him anyway."

"You are scared of me, Weasley? Do tell!" Severus purred at the red head. The boy blushed. "Can we go now? Seamus organised a snowball battle with the Hufflepuffs," he pleaded with Granger.

The rest of the day was annoying. Whenever a halfblood or muggleborn came near Severus, the clasp would jump at them with a roar. The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws weren't that much of a problem; but the Gryffindors seemed to consider the fake dementor entertaining once they had found out that it couldn't really hurt them. They sought out the potions master to trigger the spell on purpose. When the roaring figure appeared, they shrieked and laughed and some even had the cheek to thank Severus! The potions master felt like a zoo animal; and not even taking vast amounts of points scared them off!

To make matters worse, he had that lesson with the Gryffindor golden trio in the evening. Potter and Granger tried to stay far enough from him not to wake the clasp creature but from time to time they miscalculated the distance. By the fourth time Potter's patronus stag galloped through his office, Severus was ready to kill.

Luckily Granger had enough sense to declare the lesson over. "Thank you, Professor," the girl said politely. "I think I understand the concept now and can work without help from here on."

Never had Severus been that glad to see students leave his office. The only setback was Potter's merry "See you tomorrow at lunch!"


	5. 5

*5*

The potions master would have liked to sleep in since it was Sunday but at seven o'clock sharp a house elf woke him. The insolent creature had the cheek to glare back at him defiantly when he gave it his best deatheater glare.

"Professor Dumbledore asks for Professor Snape's presence at his office at once," the elf declared. "The floo is open."

Severus got up and put on his robes after only a quick cleaning charm. If the headmaster said 'at once' it must be an emergency. Unshowered and deprived of caffeine, Severus threw some floo powder into his fireplace and stepped through to Dumbledore's office.

The first thing he registered was the lovely aroma of Brazilian coffee.

"Ah, Severus! On time for breakfast, my boy!" The headmaster motioned at a squashy armchair on the other side of a small table loaded with delicacies.

"You woke me to have breakfast with me?" snarled Severus. "Or are the beans poisoned and you need me to brew an antidote?"

"The beans are perfectly alright," stated Dumbledore, oblivious of his potions master's anger. "I was merely thinking of catching up with you about that advent calendar of yours. How are you dealing with it?"

Severus growled but said nothing when he spotted smoked salmon, caviar and his favourite sausages. "Potter and Granger are helping me. They come to my office after lunch and we open the calendar together," he said and buttered a slice of toast. He reached for the salmon. "Is there any horse radish?"

"I take it there was no real harm done?"

The potions master was tempted to say 'I told you so' but before he could they were disturbed by several sharp knocks at the window. A large vulture was sitting on the sill and banging his beak against the panes.

"What's that?" cried Dumbledore. He made a face of disgust.

"The Dark Lord's post owl," sighed Severus. "With your permission?" He went to the window to let the bird in. It dropped a singed roll of parchment before it left.

"I wasn't aware vultures are able to deliver mail," the headmaster mused with interest.

The potions master chuckled. "It's a simple barn owl polyjuiced into a vulture. I made the potion personally."

The old wizard laughed. "Ah yes, Tom always had a sense of drama. What does he want?"

"He wants my memories of what happened with the calendar. He enjoyed Draco's memory of the breakfast incident so much, he wants to participate in the fun. Are you aware how much this complicates things? He can't know I try to protect the students from his spells."

The headmaster smirked. "He can if we make him believe that I ordered you to. And he will certainly like that you suggested Harry of all people to be the test person."

Severus looked up from his salmon. "That could actually work!"

"Of course it will work," Dumbledore reached for the fried eggs. "We have to make sure Harry doesn't give away how powerful he is. I'll warn him before he goes to your office today."

Potter didn't look thrilled to provide a show for the Dark Lord when he entered the office with Granger later.

"I'm doing this for Dumbledore, not you; just to set things straight. Can we get it over with?" he snarled.

Severus was happy to oblige. After a warning glare at the two Gryffindors – Weasley had preferred to stay away – he touched the tip of his wand to the glowing skull.

Potter and Granger hopped from foot to foot and started to scream.

The potions master waited for a few seconds. It wouldn't do to deprive his master of his amusement. Then he cast 'Finite incantatem!'

Potter and Granger fell on each other's neck, panting. "I will kill him for that alone!" snarled Potter into the girl's bushy hair.

"What was it?" asked Severus.

"Shoe shrinking charm," growled Granger.

Severus laughed and the Gryffindors glared at him angrily. After another moment, the potions master went to his private store cupboard. He handed Granger a vial. "Use this for a footbath. Make it warm but not hot and leave your feet in it for a quarter hour. You can make it longer but after about twenty-five minutes it will colour your toe nails pink."

"The laugh was for Voldemort?" the girl asked, sounding uncertain.

The potions master rolled his eyes. "I can't let him know I gave you something to treat the pain, can I? I'm supposed to hate you."

"You do hate me," Potter pointed out.

Severus smirked at the boy. "That's why I gave Granger only one vial."

Potter glared back defiantly but the girl put a soothing hand on his shoulder. "We can share it." She pushed the boy towards the door and they limped off.

The potions master whistled merrily while he packed his memory for the Dark Lord and imagined Weasley's face when Potter and Granger played footsie in the bath.


	6. 6

*6*

If there was something Severus hated with all his heart (but the Dark Lord) it was Monday morning. He greeted it with an angry snarl and a punch to his pillow. Once the hapless pillow had got his due, he reached under it, drew his wand and fired a hex at the alarm clock.

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle…"

Severus pulled the pillow out from under his head and hid under it. He pulled it down on his ears with all his might. The alarm clock had been a present from Albus. It had charms protecting it against physical violence and the most common hexes. In addition it answered any attempt to curse it with annoying sounds, today a Christmas song.

"AAARGH!"

It was a bad idea to hide under a pillow with a loose wand. Severus scrambled out of his bed. He ran to the bathroom holding his eye. Some tiny part of his brain registered that the fact that he had got up had silenced the alarm clock.

"What have you done now?" asked his mirror as he tried to get a good view of his eye. "Pink suits you, have I told you?"

The potions master forced himself to open the injured eye wider. Really, the iris was bright pink. Muttering curses under his breath he returned to his bedroom to fetch his wand.

"This is pretty dangerous!" warned the mirror when he tried to point the tip of his wand at his left eye. "Do you really think that's wise?"

"I can't teach like that, can I?" snarled Severus.

"Then I suggest an eye patch," the mirror said merrily.

Two spells later, Severus's eye and the cheeky mirror were each covered by one. The potions master ignored the protesting piece of furniture and got ready for his lessons. Luckily Monday morning consisted only of first and second year lessons, thanks to Albus who knew how his potions instructor felt about this time of the week. The children were clever enough not to comment on their teacher's unusual appearance.

After the last morning lesson, Severus checked to see whether his eye had recovered from the accidental magic but it had not. With a sigh he put the patch back into place and ordered lunch in his office. He'd rather not go to the Great Hall with the eye patch and answer awkward questions.

The potions master was halfway through a portion of his favourite salad with grilled chicken breast when his meal was interrupted by a knock on the door. He dabbed his mouth with his napkin before he let the golden Gryffindor trio in.

"What have you done?" Potter asked without preamble. The boy pointed at the patch.

"Nothing," growled Severus. He went back to his desk to fetch the advent calendar.

"Do you need help?" asked Granger kindly. "Or were you able to apply healing spells yourself?"

"I don't need spells," snarled the potions master. "I have potions!"

The girl looked hurt but said nothing.

"She was only trying to help," growled Weasley. "You could try to be nice to her."

"Niceties are not part of our agreement," hissed Severus. Without further warning, he touched his wand to the skull of the day. The three students jumped back in alarm, but without reason. A bottle of firewhiskey appeared on the desk.

"That was easy today," said Potter. "We'll be off then."

Severus allowed himself a small smile. This brand was his favourite. Good that the trio wouldn't eat or drink anything the calendar gave him after their experience with the gingerbread men.

Being a cautious person, the potions master checked the content of the bottle for unwelcome additions but found none. He also ran every diagnostic spell for hexes, jinxes and curses he could think of but the bottle was completely harmless.

Lunch break was nearly over when the potions master was done with his present. He had just time to finish his meal before he had to return to his lessons. After an exhausting afternoon – sixth years were not as kind as first years – he took the bottle up to Dumbledore's office.

The headmaster was only too willing to share a shot of firewhiskey and help Severus with his eye.

"There, black as ever," the old man mused as he regarded his spellwork. "Now, let's try what your dark friends gave you. You checked it for poisons, didn't you?"

Severus snorted, nearly offended. "What do you take me for? A fool?" He poured them glasses of the amber liquid. It tasted delicious.

"It must be a trick of the light," giggled Albus after his third glass. He stared at Severus. "Your eyes are red. Both of them."

The potions master glared at his superior. "So are yours," he pointed out. "This must be one of the windows the Dark Lord spelled personally. I don't think any of the others could have fooled me."

"You look scary!" chuckled the headmaster. "Is it too late for a staff meeting?"

"It is," growled the potions master. "Besides, do you really want to share this with the others?" He poured the old wizard another glass.

"Don't you have lessons tomorrow?" babbled Albus.

Severus smirked and held up two vials of sobering potion.

Albus smiled beatifically. "Cheers!" he cried as he emptied the glass again.


	7. 7

*7*

After having made sure that the red eyes had only been temporary, Severus went to breakfast in the Great Hall. Making an appearance there from time to time reminded the student body that they were scared of him. It wouldn't do to lose a perfect reputation just because of a minor carousal.

Severus took a total of forty points on the way to his chair from all houses but his own. After a delicious meal, the potions master set out for his dungeons. The first class of the day was with his NEWT students and that needed a little more preparation than the average lesson with the younger children.

In the Entrance Hall, he was intercepted by Draco Malfoy.

"Sir, my father's house guest asked me to inform you he was delighted with your latest delivery. He expects to get more and wishes to know why you didn't send anything yesterday."

"Do you have means of contact faster than mine?" asked the potions master carefully.

The boy nodded. "Father sent me a letter which will return to him by magic in a half hour. If you want me to pass a message on, I can."

Severus cocked his head. "Please thank your father's guest for the firewhiskey he sent me. It was delicious but nothing spectacular happened. I hope I will have news for him later today." He watched the blond run off to note down the message before the letter returned home. He just hoped that today's window was going to meet the Dark Lord's expectations.

Potter looked furious when he came to the potions master's office at the beginning of lunch break. Severus was not surprised. It had started when he took those hundred points from the boy for ineptitude and had continued when he had emptied Potter's cauldron before he could bottle a sample for grading. He didn't expect it to end anytime soon.

"If this wasn't for the younger students…" the boy started.

Severus interrupted him. "But it is, so spare me your whining. Are you ready?"

The Gryffindor trio nodded and Severus touched his wand to the skull. He looked at the three expectantly; that they didn't scream was a good sign. That they blushed crimson was… unsettling. "Well?" Severus drawled.

"My pants are gone," breathed Potter.

"So are mine," whispered Weasley and Granger nodded vigorously.

"Then we are lucky your robes didn't become transparent," smirked the potions master.

Granger shrieked and jumped to hide behind Weasley. Severus made a point of rolling his eyes. The red-haired boy glared at him angrily but before he could say a word, the headmaster's magically magnified voice ordered every inhabitant of the castle to the Great Hall.

The trio hurried to obey but Severus jumped in their way. "Wait until my Slytherins are gone. I don't want you to be seen coming out of my office."

The potions master was the last to enter the Great Hall since he had given the Gryffindors a head start. It wouldn't do to be seen arrive together with them.

"Professor Snape, good of you to join us," muttered Dumbledore before he cast Sonorus. "It seems," he informed the students, "that for reasons which need to be discovered yet every single inhabitant of the castle lost their underwear ten minutes ago. Or does anybody still have their pants?" He let his eyes wander over the crowd. Nobody spoke up.

"Look!" a child's cry interrupted the ensuing awkward silence. A Hufflepuff boy pointed up into midair, at a point somewhere above the aisle between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables.

Everybody looked up.

A pair of white lacy knickers had appeared.

"Those are mine!" a fifth year Ravenclaw whispered, mortified.

The knickers flew at her and landed right in her face. In the place where they had hung, a pair of black silk boxers appeared.

After two minutes, Draco Malfoy claimed them.

Within the next two hours, student after student and teacher after teacher got their underwear back. Severus got more information than he ever wanted.

Albus claimed a magenta monstrosity with black kittens on it; Minerva called something with black frills to her. A group of his sixth year Slytherins seemed to favour thongs in ridiculous colours while leopard spots were particularly popular among Hufflepuff girls.

Potter's face was priceless when he claimed greyish boxers about twice the size he needed and Severus was going to never forget Draco's expression when Pansy Parkinson admitted the panties with the blond's face on the backside were hers.

When the last pant had found its owner, the headmaster cleared his throat. "Why don't we all have an early dinner and forget this ever happened?" There were cries of consent from all four tables and the old wizard ordered dinner from the house elves immediately.

The food appeared slower than usual, but nobody complained since most had had lunch not so long ago. Severus ate his dinner without really taking in what it was. The most important thing was that the Dark Lord was going to like today's mayhem. Content, he got up to leave after he had emptied his plate. On Dumbledore's other side, Minerva McGonagall got up, too.

"Severus," she purred when he walked past her, "you sly dog! I never took you for adventurous!"

"What are you talking about?"

The witch winked at him. "I'm sure I'm not the only one who noticed that you didn't get anything back."

Severus paled, but having been a spy for so long, he recovered quickly. "You're being ridiculous, woman." He turned in a swirl of robes and rushed to the door.

On his way out, several female students winked at him. Severus wanted to die.


	8. 8

*8*

Severus was ready to kill by lunchtime. Not only did girls – and female colleagues – keep winking at him, he had also been nearly caught by a spontaneous whirlwind in the corridor. He had managed to keep his robes down, but only just.

A roll of parchment waited for him on his desk when he came to his office for the break. The potions master didn't need to look at the seal to know who it was from. Luckily it was only a thank-you note. The Dark Lord informed his humble servant that he had enjoyed yesterday's memory a lot and requested that he tell the Malfoy boy that he, the Dark Lord, had no intention to punish the spell caster for the boy's humiliation by having his underpants exposed to the public.

"Don't you know any other halfbloods?" Potter asked as soon as he had entered the office, the rest of the trio in tow. "This is getting too much!"

"Can't stand a few pranks, Potter?" Severus teased. "And to answer your question: None that come in a package with a muggleborn and a blood traitor. You are perfect for the task."

"Hurray!" Potter crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Let's get this over with. I'm hungry and I don't want to miss lunch again!"

"You haven't missed any lessons recently. Be grateful!" Severus smirked but obliged by touching an excitedly blinking skull on the tiny tree. "Are your pants still in place?" he asked when nothing happened.

The trio nodded.

"Do you feel strange? Do you feel you're under a spell?" the potions master prodded.

The trio shook their heads.

Since there was no telling what the advent calendar had done this time, Severus sent the Gryffindors off to lunch while he ordered some food to be brought to his classroom. He needed to lay out the ingredients for his next lesson. The potion he was attempting to make with this class was more complex than anything the students had tried so far. If they had to look for the ingredients in the cupboard themselves, they would run out of time.

When he had finished his work, there was only a little time left to eat. Severus sat at his desk and munched his sandwiches happily, pondering the secret gift the advent calendar had held. What could it be? Was he going to find a little something in his quarters when he returned there? Were the students who were coming to his classroom next in danger? He went through the list of names quickly. There were three muggleborns in the next group, not to speak of a half dozen of halfbloods.

The potions master had his wand ready when the students arrived for their lesson, just in case anybody lost part of their uniforms or sprouted extra heads or something.

Nothing happened.

By dinner, Severus was more than nervous. He had spent the past five hours on edge. He had nearly hexed Hillary Caulton into oblivion when she had tried to cast a transparency spell on his robes – as if that would work; Severus hadn't been a teacher for more than fifteen years for nothing.

He sought out the headmaster for help at dinner but Dumbledore had no idea what to do.

"If the spell doesn't reveal itself, there's not much we can do about it," he said, stroking his beard. "I'm sorry I can't be of assistance."

Severus decided that he had had enough. Since he had no duties in the evening, he withdrew to his quarters right after the meal.

There, he finally found his gift. It was a framed photograph of the Dark Lord. Severus made a mental note to take it to the next meeting and beg the dark wizard for his autograph. This was certainly what the Dark Lord expected him to do. Grudgingly he put the picture on the mantelpiece. For the time being he couldn't get rid of it. The Dark Lord certainly expected to find it in a place of honour in his potions master's memories.

Severus was not happy.


	9. 9

*9*

Severus was annoyed to find out that the mystery of his non-appearing underpants was still discussed among the students on Thursday. Usually, teenagers' memory was short but not in this case.

Being a true Slytherin, he decided to provide them with something new to discuss. One quick spell during the first lesson and Lavender Brown's too tight robes lost their fight against the girl's abundant equipment. It was only a small tear and nothing was to be really seen but the fact alone that the robes had given way was excellent gossip material.

By lunch time the question of Severus's preferences in underwear or lack thereof was forgotten.

Unfortunately, Granger was the cleverest witch of her age. "That was a dreadful thing you did to Lavender!" she spat at her potions master instead of a greeting when she entered the office at lunch break.

"Nothing serious happened. If you weren't sitting exactly opposite her, you couldn't even tell the colour of her bra," Severus said defensively. Granger was scary when she was furious. No wonder she managed to keep two dunderheads like Potter and Weasley in check. Fear was a strong incentive, Severus was aware of that and used the fact liberally.

"Seamus was sitting opposite her," raged the bushy-haired witch. "The whole school knows by now it is black!"

"Well," drawled the potions master, "that was an unlucky coincidence that Finnegan sat so close."

"You made him change place with Pansy!" Granger pointed her index finger at Severus accusingly. This girl was too observant for her own good.

The potions master cleared his throat. "Are you here to discuss sitting arrangements or to open a window on my advent calendar?" He lifted the small tree from its place on the desk and pointed his wand at a softly glowing skull.

"Let's get it over with," snarled Granger. "You disgust me. The less time I have to stand your presence the better!"

Severus gave the insolent girl a glare which would have made most other students burst into tear but she just glared back. One quick glance at Potter and Weasley convinced the potions master that he hadn't lost his touch. Making a mental note to think of something better for Granger, he touched the skull.

The girl's expression changed immediately. She beamed at Severus beatifically; and then she did something unprecedented: she knelt and kissed the hem of the potions master's robes. "Thank you that I may breathe the same air as you!" she whispered, clearly awed by Severus's presence.

"Hermione!" squeaked Weasley.

Potter proved once more that he had good presence of mind. "It's some kind of Imperius! Hermione, try to shake it off!"

"Oh please, let this only work on the first muggleborn I meet!" Severus begged whatever entity would hear him. "Weasley, fetch the headmaster. Inform him and tell him we need another test muggleborn. If this spell isn't limited to the first muggleborn I meet, I can't teach my afternoon lessons."

The boy left the office at a run and for once, Severus didn't care a bit who saw him rush out of the head of Slytherin's sanctuary.

Albus appeared a quarter hour later with Justin Finch-Fletchley in tow. Potter was just trying to pull Granger away from Severus's shoes. The potions master had applied a cleaning charm to his footwear after the witch had started to kiss them.

The Hufflepuff's eyes went big as saucers.

"Finch-Fletchley, do you feel any urge to kiss my shoes?" asked Severus without preamble.

"Of course not!" the boy looked bewildered. He was clearly glad to be dismissed five seconds later and left the office as if the Dark Lord himself was after him.

"Thank Merlin for small mercies," muttered Severus. "It doesn't work on all of them!"

"Well, maybe it only works on girls," Potter pointed out. He dodged a blow by Granger who was trying to break free from him with all her power. At least she didn't use her wand. Severus doubted that Potter would have stood a chance to help him if she had.

"Potter has a point," Severus pulled the hem of his robes away from the witch who had just grabbed it again. "We need another female muggleborn!"

It took the headmaster a moment to react but then he turned on the spot to fetch another student. The new guinea pig was Giselle Bower from Ravenclaw, a sixth year and not as powerful as Severus would have liked a student facing a dark spell.

A feeling of gratitude washed through the potions master when the girl didn't react to his presence in any other way than the curiosity that was to be expected from a member of her house. This made things much easier.

"Miss Granger," Severus said in his best teacher tone, "I would regard it a personal favour if you go to the library and write seven feet on the influence of the cauldron material on a potion, to be handed in tomorrow before breakfast."

The witch squealed with delight and left the office at a rush, Potter in tow.

"That was a clever move, Severus," Dumbledore smiled benignly, "join me for lunch at the Great Hall, will you?"


	10. 10

*10*

The potions master was woken the next morning by vigorous knocks on the outer door of his quarters. Yawning, he scrambled out of bed. There must be an emergency in Slytherin when somebody dared wake him at an ungodly hour in such a manner. He threw his bathrobe over his nightshirt and padded to the door.

It was Granger who stood in front of it, barefoot, in a pastel green nightdress. She beamed at him as she held out a big roll of parchment. "I'm done, Sir!"

"Done?" echoed Severus.

"Your essay about cauldrons," the girl tried to slip through the door but Severus shifted his weight and narrowed the gap between his body and the doorframe enough to keep her outside.

"And you're bringing it now?"

"You said before breakfast!" the girl looked hurt. "It is before breakfast."

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. "Good. It is before breakfast. Give me that essay." He held out his hand.

Granger grabbed it and rubbed her cheek on it instead of handing over the parchment.

Severus checked the corridor quickly. This was not a display he'd like his Slytherins to witness. What could he do? And most importantly, why was Granger still smitten with him?

He decided to try whether a good hex would bring the Gryffindor back to her senses. "Since you are already here, why don't we go and open today's window now?" He gestured down the corridor to his office. If it didn't solve the problem, this at least got her away from his private rooms.

The girl nodded eagerly and they walked down to the other door. Severus was just going to open it, when Weasley came jogging down the hall. "I'm sorry, Sir! She escaped!" panted the red head. "Harry was on duty. She must have knocked him out. Don't worry; Seamus is taking care of him." He threw boys' school robes around Granger's frame.

Severus bit back a comment that he wasn't nor would he ever be worried about Potter. "We were just going to have a look at today's window. Would you care to join us, Mr Weasley?"

The boy agreed. "Hermione is not really in a state to defend herself," he pointed out.

It turned out that she didn't need to. This day's spell was directed at Severus himself. As soon as he had touched the tiny skull, Weasley burst out laughing and Granger lost the adoring expression. Blushing, she slid into the robes she had ignored so far properly and wrapped them around herself as tightly as they would go.

"What!" snarled the potions master.

Weasley transfigured a quill into a mirror and held it out to Severus.

"Merlin!" cried the teacher. "I can't teach like that!" His hair was curly and blond and his skin looked as if he had spent the last four months in the Caribbean. "I need to see Albus!"

"Aren't you on duty during breakfast today?" asked Granger. "If I were you, I'd get dressed. It's nearly time to go upstairs. Oh, and wear some other colour than black. It wouldn't go well with your new complexion."

"I need to see Albus!" insisted the potions master.

"Go and get prepared for the day, I'll notify him and send him to your quarters," promised the girl.

It was a reasonable suggestion, so Severus agreed. He reapplied the patch on his mirror when it wouldn't stop whistling at him and since he didn't own one single piece of garment that wasn't black, he donned his normal teaching robes.

When the potions master returned to his living room, the headmaster was already waiting for him. "Miss Granger is right," said the old man. "Black doesn't go well with that tan." He pointed his wand at Severus.

"Reverse that this instant!" shouted the potions master as he looked down his now gaudily colourful robes.

"But this is ideal for your new appearance!"

"There is no such thing like Hawaii robes! And if there were I wouldn't wear them ever!"

"I wonder why nobody made any yet?" mused Dumbledore. "They are magnificent!" He changed his own robes, too. "There! Marvellous! Let's go to breakfast now!"

Humiliated, Severus followed his superior up to the Great Hall. They had just reached the Entrance Hall when inspiration struck. "You're right, Albus," the head of Slytherin said slyly. "These robes are extraordinary! Everybody should wear them!"

"What a splendid idea!" cried Albus. He cast the necessary spells at once and informed the student body five minutes later that he had decided to declare the 10th of December a Hawaii day.

By dinnertime, Severus was ready to take his own eyes out. He swore, if he had to look at another pink and orange palm tree ever again in his life he was going to kill the person wearing the shirt. Most of the students shared his opinion.

This was why that evening was particularly quiet at Hogwarts castle. Dumbledore had only changed the day robes but not the nightwear. By 9pm, the community of Hogwarts was fast asleep.


	11. 11

*11*

Severus was glad it was the weekend. That was before he remembered it was a Hogsmeade one. There was no doubt it would take a major miracle for him to escape his duty to go and proctor the students. Too often had he tricked colleagues into taking over or missed out because of a summons from the Dark Lord.

When he arrived at the Great Hall for breakfast, McGonagall glared at him and hissed "Whatever you want to ask, the answer is no!" Sprout and Flitwick pretended to be deep in conversation and ignored the potions master.

The headmaster chuckled as Severus sat beside him. "It seems they are warned."

"Warned?" Severus asked innocently.

Albus didn't deign him an answer but only smirked at the younger wizard.

"Are you trying to imply I would try to worm my way out of my duties?" Severus managed just the right mixture between hurt and indignation.

"Of course not! When do you plan to take care of your advent calendar today?"

"I was thinking of asking Granger to do it before we leave," said Severus, following a sudden bout of inspiration. Maybe the calendar made it impossible for him to go to Hogsmeade!

"That's a great idea," agreed the headmaster. "Better get it over with!"

The Golden Trio arrived already dressed for the outing. When Severus reached for the calendar tree, Potter stopped him with a raised hand. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" the boy asked. "What if the calendar shrinks our shoes again? What if one of us fawns over you again? Wouldn't it be wiser to go to Hogsmeade first and open the window when we come back?"

"Scared, Potter?" Severus smirked.

As expected, this was the right thing to say. Potter, being a true Gryffindor, motioned the potions master to bring the calendar. Severus bit back a smirk and touched the blinking skull.

He barely managed to draw his wand fast enough. Potter and Granger pulled at their tightening scarves. Potter was strong enough to keep the rebellious piece of garment in check but Granger's face turned bluish faster than you could say 'slayer'. Severus turned the thick winter scarves into silk but that didn't help.

Weasley hurried to Granger's aid but the scarf was already so tight, he couldn't grasp it properly. Severus did some quick thinking and then transfigured the scarves into toilet paper. The preformed tears worked and Potter and Granger were saved. They both panted.

"I'm a danger to the public," Severus said to the headmaster a quarter hour later. "I think it would be better I stay at the castle today."

"Nice try, Severus," grinned the old man. "As you said, the spell was easily broken by transfiguration. Just make sure you keep your wand in hand; then I don't see why you shouldn't go and have some fun. I'm sure you want to do some Christmas shopping, too. So why miss a splendid opportunity."

Severus bit back a comment that he'd rather shop without five hundred students roaming the village. Resigned to his fate, the potions master set out for Hogsmeade.

The trouble started already on the way to the village. Once it was clear that Severus was actually going, Pomona Sprout decided to join him for the walk. The friendly witch turned out to be a halfblood; her Hufflepuff scarf's attempt to strangle her was especially vigorous. Severus saved his colleague and administered a drop of pepper-up to her.

"Thank you, Severus," panted the witch. They waited a minute or two until she had completely recovered.

It was amazing how few purebloods there actually were. All three shop assistants in Flourish and Blotts were attacked by their ties when Severus went inside to purchase Potions Quarterly; don't mention the customers.

Severus stopped counting how many he had saved when the number exceeded fifty. Shortly after noon, a reporter turned up and started to shoot photos. He interviewed some of the victims and even tried to get a statement from Severus whom he had observed saving a hundred year old witch from her feather boa.

Of course Severus refused to answer one single question.

At dinner, Dumbledore handed the potions master a special issue of the Daily Prophet. Severus was scowling at the readers from the front page. Above his pictures the headline informed the public "Modest Hogwarts Professor Saves Masses from Secret Curse".

Inside, several pages were filled with stories about the victims. Pictures of them and interviews. There was even one picture of an elderly wizard nearly being killed by his leather collar. The picture was all black first and the caption informed the reader that this was not for the weak-hearted or children. It could be revealed by touching it with a wand.

On page fifteen was an interview with Draco Malfoy who kindly informed the wizarding world about his potions teacher.

"He's always been very modest, working to better the world untiringly but too shy to claim the attention he deserves for it," said the blond. "He's a silent hero and one of my most important role models apart from my own family. If I manage to learn half of what he knows about his area of expertise, I will be very grateful."

After the meal Severus made a package for the Dark Lord with some memories of muggleborns being nearly choked. He chose some where he hadn't realised at once that there was another victim to make the Dark Lord believe he had waited for as long as possible before he intervened. He put the vial with the memories into a small box with a neatly folded Prophet and wrote a short note pointing his Lord to the blackened picture.

On the way to the owlery, he saved Argus Filch but only just. The caretaker had been on the lurk in a niche and if it hadn't been for Mrs Norris, Severus wouldn't have seen him.


	12. 12

*12*

The only good thing which came from being on duty in Hogsmeade was that you weren't on duty the following Sunday. Severus slept in comfortably and for once he remained undisturbed. Around eleven, he stretched luxuriously and informed a house elf that he wished to take brunch in his quarters in a half hour.

Once the small creature was gone, he went to the bathroom to have a nice long shower. His mirror informed the potions master that he looked very well rested and happy and gave a small sigh of relief when it wasn't cursed for the comment. When the potions master came out of the shower the cheeky mirror tried its luck by pointing out that it was a pity that Severus didn't allow the view to a nice witch. The potions master threatened the mirror with his tooth brush but ignored it otherwise.

Some nice elf had laid out his clothes for him on his bed. Severus allowed himself an appreciative smile since nobody was there to witness it. He quickly slid into his robes and then treated himself to a lengthy and delicious meal. The kitchen elves knew by now what he liked and there were small bowls and plates with all of his favourites. The highlight of the meal was a sinfully big piece of chocolate cake. Severus nearly purred when he tasted the first morsel.

He finished the meal just in time to walk to the office and meet Granger for the advent calendar issue. The skull was blinking red and Severus was a bit worried what it might do to the Golden Trio but it couldn't be helped and so he touched it with his wand tip without hesitation.

Since so far always Granger and Potter had been the victims, Severus nearly missed the effect. Weasley's face had turned green.

"But I am a pureblood!" spluttered the boy when Severus returned the favour of handing him a mirror.

"You are a blood traitor," the potions master corrected him. He sent Potter to fetch the headmaster.

"Is that wise?" asked Granger. "If Ron counts as a blood traitor, so does Dumbledore."

Severus shrugged. "I don't think Albus minds going green." The assessment turned out to be accurate. Not only did the headmaster not mind his new skin colour, he was excited about it. It was Weasley who insisted they find a cure for it.

"There is a potion which may work," Severus suggested. "It can be brewed within an hour, so if you don't have any better ideas, Albus…"

The headmaster agreed and the group went to the potions classroom. Severus had no intention of letting a bunch of Gryffindors into his private laboratory.

No sooner had they started to brew that Draco Malfoy arrived. "Sir, I'm supposed to give you this at once," he held out a hair brush.

"How charming," cried Dumbledore. "An early Christmas present! From whom is it, Severus."

The potions master knew exactly who had sent it but didn't answer. Instead, he steeled himself for the tugging feeling behind his navel and took the portkey.

"Severus," cried the Dark Lord in his hoarse voice, "I have to ask you a small favour! I was alerted that you got the blood traitor detecting charm today. Please, greet my servants, one by one!" The Malfoys' ballroom was nearly bursting with people.

The potions master's heart dropped. When he walked down the line of assembled deatheaters, he was going to expose any of them who had doubts about the Dark Lord's blood status ideology. He doubted that any deatheater who turned green would survive the meeting.

Hiding his fear to the best of his abilities, Severus started to walk down the long row of witches and wizards. They all stood proud, some even glared at him defiantly as if the Dark Lord's mistrust was his personal fault. After some steps, the Dark Lord stopped him. He wanted to have a good view of what happened and that was easier when Severus stood beside him and the deatheaters came to them.

Severus took his assigned position and the deatheaters filed past him in a long queue. Nobody changed colour. The potions master was relieved although that meant there was not a single potential ally among the deatheaters.

"Wonderful!" cried the Dark Lord. "It's good to know that you are all faithful! That deserves a reward!" The dark wizard clapped his hands and an old-fashioned gramophone appeared in a corner of the room. "Let's dance!" He hurried to ask Bellatrix for the first dance himself.

The witch bowed and soon waltzed through the room with the darkest wizard of all times, a beatific smile on her face. The others hurried to follow their lord's lead. Most had to send word to their wives at home but within ten minutes the ballroom of Malfoy Manor was used to its original purpose.

Severus danced with Hillary Crabbe and Hecate Mulciber – sister not wife to his childhood friend – and finally with Narcissa Malfoy who beat her sister to the potions master when the ladies were allowed to choose their partners.

"How is Draco?" asked the blonde witch as the potions master whirled her around at a speed he didn't think he could hold for more than a minute. Who had chosen that song?

"He's well; still spending a lot of time with the Parkinson girl," Severus replied.

"She's from a good wizarding family," panted Narcissa. "Has a long blood line to look back on."

The potions master agreed. The length of her bloodline didn't make the girl a nicer person in his book but as long Narcissa was content, who was he to contradict her.

After the ball, Severus returned to his lab. Seemingly the headmaster had tried to finish the potion on his own. There were lots of dirty tools and dishes. With a sigh, Severus cleaned away the mess. On the teacher's desk he found a note 'We decided to wait for it to wear off'.

Good; he was too tired to brew anyway. Humming under his breath happily, Severus withdrew to his quarters to spend the evening with a good book.


	13. 13

*13*

Albus's complexion was back to normal the next morning at breakfast. The old man looked too merry for his own good.

"Is there any particular reason for your cheerfulness?" Severus inquired as he sat down.

The headmaster beamed at him. "Funny that you ask, Severus! I was thinking yesterday evening what a pity it was that I couldn't keep the green face for Christmas. I know a splendid charm to turn my beard red and Minerva gave me a golden Santa hat last year. I would have looked like Christmas personified! I was so disappointed that I couldn't sleep and this morning, just when I was getting ready for breakfast, I remembered that potion recipe which Nicholas mentioned the other day!" He presented a slip of parchment with a flourish.

The potions master read the recipe. It was similar to boil tincture with some slight changes like students made them unwittingly all the time. "This would turn you green head to toe," he mused. "The interaction between powdered sea shells and pixie hair alone…"

"I was hoping you would say that," interrupted the old wizard. "Can I borrow some troll blood from you?" Severus agreed to provide the headmaster with the ingredients he needed in exchange for his promise that he wouldn't ask Severus to brew him an antidote at any point.

Weasley had his normal colour back, too, as Severus could convince himself at his office during his lunch break. The boy looked frightened when he entered the office after Potter and Granger.

"You are allowed to leave if you are uncomfortable with the task," Severus teased the Gryffindor.

"Stop it," snarled Potter. "you have no idea how people with green skin and red hair are treated. It was absolutely disgusting! Malfoy's lame jokes alone…" he shook his head and made a face.

"You didn't do anything to Malfoy, did you?" Severus asked.

"If I had, I wouldn't tell you," spat the boy. "And I haven't. Malfoy's not worth the effort."

The potions master bit back a smile. Potter was growing up. Just a year ago he wouldn't have had the self control to keep quiet about a fight with Malfoy. Of course the head of Slytherin had heard about Malfoy's bright turquoise hair before breakfast. "Let's open the window," he suggested.

Potter and Granger agreed and Weasley was ignored. Severus touched the softly glowing skull and regretted it immediately. "I need to leave," he panted at Potter, "inform the headmaster!" before he left the office and the castle at a run.

There was a burning feeling in his guts, almost like pain. A pain which, he knew from long experience, would only fade away when he apparated where the pain wanted him to go.

It was cold outside but the pain was so intense that he couldn't take the time to get his cloak. Instead he hurried down to the gates in his teaching robes. As soon as he had passed the boars guarding the entrance to the grounds, Severus disapparated and let his gut feeling guide him.

It was not the Dark Lord who awaited him at the other end of his journey but no other than Lucius Malfoy.

"Severus," he greeted the potions master. "I'm glad you got my spell today. Your news about Draco made Narcissa very happy yesterday."

"What is this about?" Severus asked suspiciously.

"I thought," the blond wizard smiled superiorly, "I'd rather treat you to something better than some childish spell. We're going sledging."

"What?"

Lucius stepped aside to give Severus a good view of a sledge pulled by two white horses.

"You want to ride a sleigh with me?" asked the potions master sarcastically. "How romantic!" He snorted.

The blond smirked. "I can take polyjuice if you like." He wiggled his brows.

"And turn into whom?" snorted Severus. "Your sister in law?"

"You hurt me!" Lucius acted offended. "I know that you have a thing for red heads." He held up a red hair.

"Whose is it?" asked the potions master.

"Who cares?"

"So, let me sum up the plan," Severus laughed humourlessly. "You summon me here, you turn into a red haired woman, we ride that sleigh and then what? We snog?"

Lucius made a face. "Of course not!"

"I'll return to Hogwarts, shall I?" Severus turned to go but the blond held him back.

"The Dark Lord expects you to get your treat and get it you will. Get on that sleigh!"

"I don't want you to take polyjuice!"

"You can take it if you like!"

"I will not!"

"Then don't! Get on that sleigh now!"

Severus rolled his eyes and sat on the bench. Grudgingly he accepted the blanket Lucius offered him. The blond took control of the reins himself. The ride would have been fun with the horses snorting from time to time and the bells on the sleigh ringing softly with the rhythm of the animals' steps, but Severus was too angry and embarrassed to enjoy it. As soon as Lucius stopped the sleigh, the potions master took flight. Under the pretext of being cold, he apparated back to Hogwarts. He even made it to his first afternoon lesson in time.

At least he didn't need to send a memory to the Dark Lord. He was sure Lucius would gladly share his.


	14. 14

*14*

The next morning, Severus was woken neither by his alarm clock nor by a house elf. Instead, he woke to a chilly cold. A quick lumos spell revealed a cloud of moist air in front of the potions master's face. Severus sighed and cast a warming spell. It worked long enough to let him slip into his warmest robes and his cloak without freezing any important body parts.

The Great Hall was full of shivering students when the wizard arrived there. Braziers stood on the house tables. The children were gathered around them to try and warm their hands.

"Stay calm," the headmaster was just crying when Severus took his place at the head table. He stood with McGonagall and Vector by one of the braziers for the teachers. "As most of you will have noticed, the worst snow storm in years is raging outside. The warming spells on the castle couldn't deal with the sudden drop of temperature but they will do their magic within the next hour or so. The house elves are preparing hot drinks for all of us and we will remain here until a comfortable temperature has been restored. All morning lessons are cancelled."

Severus snorted. 'Within the hour'. Ha, ha and triple ha! If that was true, then why was the old man cancelling all morning lessons? It was a sign how cold the students were that there were hardly any cheers. Some of the older ones looked worried. They had seen the lie for what it was, too.

The morning went by excruciatingly slow. Severus had five cups of coffee before he ordered hot cocoa. It wouldn't do to suffer a caffeine poisoning; although a sugar high didn't seem more desirable. The teachers spent most of the time chatting but the conversation was not very interesting as far as Severus was concerned. McGonagall and Vector had started to discuss Vector's niece Pandora's first pregnancy. It was boring.

Flitwick came and suggested a game of cards around nine but their fingers were too cold to hold the cards. The little charms professor made the cards hover in front of him and Severus followed his lead. Flitwick grinned and made his cards move in complicated patterns.

Severus recognized a challenge when he saw one and soon the game of cards was forgotten in favour of a charms competition. The two wizards made their cards fly around the room and change colour, size and shape. Soon the students observed their teachers' game. The Ravenclaws cheered their head of house on when he turned his cards into robins.

"Showoff!" muttered Severus. He turned his cards into falcons which went after the robins immediately. The Slytherins didn't utter one sound before the first falcon caught a robin but then they roared with enthusiasm.

Flitwick defended his robins by conjuring an eagle. The Ravenclaws greeted their mascot with applause.

"Stop that childish behaviour!" growled the headmaster. The cold was definitely dampening his mood.

Disappointed, Severus and Flitwick banished their birds. The students sat back down, some ordered new drinks.

It was nearly time for lunch by the time the temperature was back to normal. Severus returned back to the dungeons reluctantly. The Slytherin territory always warmed up slowest.

A little later Granger and her friends turned up dutifully. Severus touched the blinking skull on the tree with his wand. Immediately a small snow cloud appeared above Granger. The girl sneezed.

"This is evil!" muttered Potter. He cast a warming spell on the snow cloud to dissolve it but he only managed to turn the snow into rain, leaving Granger soaked.

The girl sneezed again.

"Let's take her to the infirmary," sighed Severus. "Come, Miss Granger. I will walk upstairs with you." If nothing else came from the advent calendar today, it was at least an excuse to leave the cold of the dungeons. It turned out though that this had been a bad idea. Little snow clouds appeared not only above every single muggleborn they passed but also above many halfblood wizards and witches with too little magical blood.

"Really, Severus," scolded the headmaster. The old man was helping the school nurse hand out vials of pepper-up potion to students who had caught a cold. "Haven't we all frozen enough for today? Why couldn't you stay put for once?"

The potions master was banned to the bed in the far corner of the room for the rest of the day without much ado. Dumbledore wouldn't even let him give reading assignments to his students. Life was unjust!


	15. 15

*15*

After a whole day of forced inactivity, Severus was eager to start his day. For once he was up early. He granted himself a cup of coffee in his quarters before he marched up to the Great Hall, robes billowing energetically, and took position near the door.

He started to take points for tardiness five minutes after the elves had sent up the first dish. Again, it was proven that nothing travelled as fast as rumour at Hogwarts. The full student body was assembled before the headmaster made his appearance. By the time the old man turned up, Severus was halfway through his second helping of beans.

"Wow," muttered the headmaster as he sat down, "the students haven't been here so early since the first meal after the famine of 1507. What's the occasion?"

Severus shrugged. "We missed a lot of lessons yesterday. Probably they are eager to learn."

McGonagall snorted from the headmaster's other side. "Severus scared them into an early breakfast."

"I thought so," mumbled Dumbledore. "You will not be able to teach this morning though, Severus. Poppy used up all the cold remedies she had yesterday. I have to ask you to brew new supplies for her immediately."

"Certainly this can wait until the evening," cried Severus.

"It can't," Albus looked at him over the rims of his glasses sternly. "I will take your classes over for you."

"And teach them what?" snorted the potions master. "How to turn their faces green?"

"I will have you know that I worked in alchemy successfully," growled the headmaster. "How difficult can it be to teach children how to make bath oil?"

"You are not going to brew bath oil with my classes!"

"I'm the headmaster," Albus informed him. "If I want the students to brew bath oil, it's part of the curriculum. Now stop eating and go to your lab!"

Severus glared at the headmaster angrily but it couldn't be helped. The man was his superior and he had to follow his orders.

It took longer than usual to find the peace that only came with a bubbling cauldron and the regular low sounds of a knife cutting ginger root, but finally Severus reached his usual state of relax. He loved to brew and in spite of the anger he had felt earlier, he enjoyed it greatly.

By lunchtime he had most of what Poppy needed ready. An excursion to the classroom under the pretext of fetching the bottle of poppy seed oil revealed that Albus had carried out his bath oil plan. The classroom smelled of lavender, pine and cinnamon. The old wizard was in a good mood, his robes changed colour every two minutes.

Potter and Granger came a little later than usual. Granger apologized. "The headmaster needed help with the spilt mandrake oil," she explained.

"Mandrake oil?" echoed Severus. "Whatever did he need that for?"

The girl shrugged. "I have no idea, Sir. He had a little cauldron on the desk and he kept adding things. What, I cannot tell."

Severus bit back a sigh of resignation. He supposed he was going to learn soon enough. Instead of a further comment he lifted the advent calendar from its spot on the desk and touched the skull.

"Baaahaaaaahaaaa!"

Severus whirled around. A sheep was standing behind his desk. In panic, he cried "Miss Granger? Can you understand me?"

"Of course," said the girl from behind him. She was still standing beside Potter.

"Who is this?" Severus pointed at the sheep. "Weasley?"

"Nonsense," said Potter. "Ron is up at Gryffindor tower, practicing Christmas tree decorating charms."

"You mean this is a sheep?"

"Well," mused Granger, "sometimes a sheep is just a sheep. One of the deatheaters wants you to have a sheep."

"Whatever for?" asked the potions master.

"How can we know?" replied Potter. "You know them better than we. Since the sheep seems to be harmless, we shall leave, shall we?"

Severus dismissed the Gryffindors with a nod. A sheep; whatever was he going to do with a sheep? He decided to ask Albus for advice. At least the headmaster could assign the sheep a stable or something. Taking it to his quarters was completely out of the question.

The sheep followed Severus faithfully to the potions classroom and, when that was empty, up the stairs to the headmaster's office. It bleated from time to time but other than that it was good and quiet.

The headmaster contemplated the beast from all sides before he made a suggestion. "My brother has some goats down in Hogsmeade. He wouldn't mind to house a sheep. So if you don't insist to keep it close…"

Severus agreed to give the sheep to the headmaster's brother immediately. He had never wished for a pet, not even a small one like a cat.

"Oh, Severus," Albus called him back when Severus turned to leave. "I have something for you." He held up a vial. "Since you seem to underestimate bath oils, I made one for you."

Severus eyed the vial suspiciously. "This won't turn me green or something?" he asked.

"Not at all!" cried the headmaster. "Can't a principal do something nice for his teachers without being suspected of mischief?"

The potions master opened the vial and sniffed the oil. "Rose and jasmine. Thank you, Albus."

Severus spent the afternoon finishing his brewing. He didn't make it on time to teach his last lesson but early enough to grade all the homework on his desk before dinner. After a hearty meal, the potions master withdrew to his quarters to end the day with a nice long soak in the tub.

Albus's oil smelled good. It wasn't too sweet when added to a tub full of water; in fact, Severus found it very relaxing.

When he got out of the tub, his mirror nearly fell off the wall with laughter. Severus wasn't green but bright violet. Luckily only body parts which wouldn't be seen by the public were affected. The potions master snorted. Yes, the headmaster still knew his business.


	16. 16

*16*

The next morning, Severus decided to forego a shower after a quick peek under his nightshirt. It wouldn't do to give his foolish mirror more ammunition. Instead he cast a cleaning charm before he went to his personal lab to whip up a little something for Albus.

Having worked as a spy for so long, Severus had no problem to get a droplet of his potion – transparent, scentless and tasteless – into the headmaster's cup unnoticed.

Albus was waiting in Severus's office when he came to meet the Golden Trio during lunch break.

"How did you do it?" the headmaster asked without preamble.

Severus shrugged.

"Anything you wanted to tell me by making us a matched set?" Albus smirked, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

The potions master smirked back. "Anything you can brew, I can brew better?" He wiggled his brows.

The headmaster burst out laughing and Severus joined in. The merriment was interrupted by Potter clearing his throat.

"I'm sorry, I can come later if it's inconvenient now."

"No, come in, Potter." Severus motioned the boy closer. "Where is Miss Granger?"

"She's gone nuts over her arithmancy homework," sighed Potter. "Can we try this without her? Ever since she came back from that lesson she has been muttering numbers. I'm a bit scared to interrupt her line of thought at the moment."

"A scared Gryffindor?" drawled the potions master. "How disappointing." Nevertheless he touched his wand tip to an eerily glowing skull.

Potter could have been badly hurt hadn't the headmaster had the presence of mind to cast a cushioning charm.

"A de-aging charm?" Severus roared. "Are they crazy?" He watched in disbelief as the headmaster picked up an about two year old Harry Potter. The old man adjusted the size of the boy's robes with a quick spell.

"Calm down, Severus!" Albus cast another spell on the little boy. "So, now nobody can blame you for not bringing him to the Dark Lord while he's defenceless. He cannot leave the grounds. I just hope this is not one of the spells which will work on every muggleborn and halfblood you meet. We don't have enough purebloods at the castle to babysit so many." He tried to make toddler Potter let go of his beard. The boy squealed and pulled harder.

"I hope this is temporary or I just have prolonged the Dark Lord's reign for twenty or so years." Severus tried not to panic.

Meanwhile Albus had managed to take his beard back. He shoved the little boy at his unsuspecting potions master. "You de-aged him, you look after him!" That said, the headmaster left the office in a hurry. If Severus hadn't known the man for so long he would have said he fled. But Albus Dumbledore was a true Gryffindor, wasn't he?

Gritting his teeth, he carried Potter to the potions classroom since he had no intention to cancel classes again. He conjured a small fence to keep the child in one corner, transfigured some toys and also a small cot if the boy fell tired during the lesson.

The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs who arrived for the next lesson were curious but didn't say a word. Severus assigned them their potions and they started to brew like was to be expected from members of their houses.

"DAAAAADDYYYYYYYYY!"

Now that got not only Severus's attention.

"I'm not your father," the potions master informed Potter through gritted teeth. "You will call me Sir at all times!"

The boy who had looked unhappy to begin with wailed. "DAAAAAADDYYYYYY!" The child held his arms up in a wordless plea to be picked up. Eager to stop the wailing, Severus obliged.

The child stank.

"What have you done now?" growled the potions master.

"I think somebody needs a nappy, Sir," Grace Watson, who was standing closest, pointed out.

"What?" spluttered Severus. He held the toddler away from him as far as his arms would stretch. "But…!"

"I will call a house elf for you, shall I?" Grace asked kindly. Severus awarded her five points for good thinking as soon as the elf had taken Potter away.

The little creature reappeared only after the last lesson of the day. "Professor Snape, Sir," the elf bowed, "Fuzzy has put the baby wizard to sleep on Professor Snape's sofa. The baby wizard has eaten and should not wake until the morrow. If Professor Snape needs more help with his baby, Fuzzy will be thrilled to come." The elf bowed again and then disappeared with a crack.

His sofa? And Potter was unsupervised in his quarters? Severus wanted to pull his hair out. Growling like a hungry wolf he stomped to his rooms, ordered dinner in and at last went to bed early.


	17. 17

*17*

Severus was woken in the middle of the night by something pulling on his duvet. The charmed candle on his bedside table reacted to Severus's stirring at once and lit up.

Potter – still small – was trying to climb on the bed.

"What are you doing here?" growled the potions master.

"The fi' wented out and it's all da'k in my 'oom. I'm sca'ed." The child looked up at him tearfully. "May I sleep in you' bed?"

"That's not a good idea." What if Potter aged back to normal during the night? Severus hoped with all his heart that the boy would be a teenager in the morning.

"Pleeeeaaaaaaase!" The child wailed.

Severus considered calling the headmaster for a moment but the old man had made it clear that he had no intention to look after Potter, so that wouldn't help a bit. Meanwhile the child's cries got louder and louder.

"Well," Severus gave in at last, "but don't blame me if you're embarrassed in the morning." He grabbed Potter around the middle and pulled him up. The toddler crawled under the duvet and after some kicks to find the right position – he found the right place to kick at first try – fell asleep with a beatific smile on his face.

Severus didn't sleep one bit for the rest of the night. When the morning drew closer and closer and Potter didn't change, the potions master grew nervous. What if this wasn't temporary? He was so nervous that he nearly missed the change when it finally happened. One moment Potter was a toddler and the next a teenager was lying beside him, arms wrapped around his potions master's chest.

At least Severus managed to repair and resize the boy's robes before he woke. Potter was going to be embarrassed enough as it was.

As Severus had expected, the Gryffindor hero took flight at a run as soon as he woke.

"Well, that did go well," muttered Severus as he got ready for breakfast.

When he entered the Great Hall, every single head turned to look at him. Trying not to show his nerves, Severus walked up to the head table, his head held high.

"Ah, here you are, my boy. Let's get over with the bad news." Albus handed a Daily Prophet to the potions master.

Again, Severus was scowling at the reader from the front page but this time the head line didn't speak of heroism. Instead it said "UNMASKED!"

Severus looked around worried. Had he been found out as a spy? If that was the case he wasn't safe anywhere.

"Read it," sighed the headmaster.

He hadn't been found out but there was a lengthy report about his secret love child and its unknown mother. There were several interviews with people who had always known that Severus was a man without honour and on page 21, Aberforth Dumbledore informed the reader that he was keeping Severus's secret sheep.

Severus spent most of his morning lessons confiscating newspapers and taking points, even from his own house.

Granger turned up for the advent calendar alone.

"Where is Potter?" asked the potions master. He hadn't seen the boy at breakfast.

The girl shrugged. "He says he can't look you in the face after you changed his nappies."

"Tell him the house elves did that." Severus lifted the advent calendar and looked at the girl questioningly.

"Let's get it over with," she sighed. "At least I can't end up a baby, can I? They wouldn't use the same spell twice."

"I don't hope so," agreed Severus. He touched the skull.

The rumbling sound of men singing filled the office. "We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you…!"

"What was that?" panted Granger when the song was over.

The potions master rolled his eyes. "I thought a clever witch like you would have guessed it. This was, obviously, the deatheater choir."

"You mean You-Know-Who just sang me a Christmas song?" asked Hermione in disbelief.

"Not you, me!" insisted the potions master. As if the Dark Lord and his deatheaters would sing for a mudblood!

The girl shrugged. "Whatever. See you tomorrow?"

Severus looked out of the office before he let the girl out. It wouldn't do to have her named his secret love interest. The Dark Lord wouldn't be pleased if his potions master was suspected of having an interest in a muggleborn, even if she was a student and he was debauching her right under Dumbledore's nose.


	18. 18

*18*

Severus hated to be summoned before breakfast, right out of bed. He stomped up the driveway to Malfoy Manor, his stomach growling as angrily as the man felt. The Dark Lord sat at a small table in the conservatory with Lucius and Narcissa. They had croissants and cappuccino for breakfast.

"My Lord," Severus bowed. He wouldn't say no to a croissant right now.

"Severus, I'm most displeased with you," the dark wizard waved his half eaten croissant at him.

"My Lord, whatever it was that caused your displeasure, it wasn't done on purpose. Please tell me what I did."

"You gave away," the Dark Lord brought his hand down on the table violently, the cups and Narcissa jumped, "the sheep that I gave to you!"

"A sheep is a rather inconvenient pet," Severus said sheepishly.

"This sheep," the hand crashed down again but this time the Malfoys were prepared and lifted their cups, "wasn't a mere pet! It is an artful piece of magic! It is," the Dark Lord smiled superiorly, "a weapon."

"A weapon, my Lord?" Albus wouldn't be happy if his brother was hurt. The two old men never showed affection towards each other in public but Severus knew Albus Dumbledore was very protective when it came to his brother.

"Yes," the Dark Lord took a bite of his croissant and washed it down with a sip of coffee. "It will bite your worst enemy. I thought you were showing your presents to Dumbledore."

"Not this one," Severus shrugged.

"Since you don't use it properly, bring it back," growled the Dark Lord.

"My Lord," cried Severus, "now that I know what it can do, I'd love to use it."

"Then do so," the Dark Lord demanded. "I await your memory." He dismissed the potions master with a wave of his hand.

On his way back to Hogwarts Severus tried to come up with a way to make the sheep bite Dumbledore. Was it possible to imperius sheep? Under no circumstances could he bring an enemy-biting sheep to the man who had murdered Lily Evans. It would be suicide!

By the time the potions master reached the castle, he was famished.

"You should try the sausages. They are delicious," the headmaster said, bemused, when Severus reached for the basket with the croissants eagerly. The potions master ate two croissants before he informed his old friend and mentor about the sheep's secret properties.

"You need a memory of the sheep attacking me? That's easy," the headmaster said surprisingly merrily. "We can ask Aberforth for help. He has a way with animals. We can go down to the Hog's Head after dinner. If things go well we may even have time for a cuppa." He winked at Severus.

The advent calendar gave Severus an elegant wooden box at lunchtime. He sent Granger and Potter away when the present didn't have any effect on either of them and sat at his desk to open his present. It held an elegant silver hatpin with a black pearl sitting on a ring of emeralds.

Who would give him a hatpin obviously made for a woman? It was just crazy! – That answered the question. It must be Bellatrix Lestrange's window he had opened. This hatpin was probably dangerous; poisoned or cursed or most likely both.

Aberforth was, indeed, an expert for animals. He explained to the sheep what he wanted it to do in a long, wordless conversation – for Severus it looked like the old man was trying to outstare the sheep – but whatever he did, it worked. The sheep turned its back on Aberforth at the end of the briefing and sank its teeth into Albus's left arm.

Albus pushed the attacking animal back with all his might pushing it against Aberforth and Severus in the course. "You consider me your worst enemy? Traitor!" screeched Albus just like they had agreed he should.

"It must be the colour of your robes, headmaster!" cried Severus. "The sheep doesn't like cherry-red!"

"Nonsense," cried the old man. The sheep was attacking again. "Aberforth, do something! That's my knee with the scar! It will destroy my map of London!"

Severus grinned. This was too good. The Dark Lord was going to enjoy that memory. For a moment, he didn't pay attention and was knocked over by the sheep. The box with the hatpin fell to the floor and jerked open. The sheep stepped on it and the needle was hurled at Aberforth.

"Albus, do something!" cried the younger Dumbledore. He was tap-dancing at neck-breaking speed.

Severus watched the two wizards – one wrestling the sheep, the other tap-dancing – for a couple of seconds before he helped them. He needed a good memory to get back into the Dark Lord's good books after all.

Once the sheep was safely back in Aberforth's living room, the wizards sat down in one of the Hog's Head's private parlours and the inn keeper brought out a bottle of mead from his private store.

"We need a reason to prevent that sheep from ever returning to the Dark Lord," the potions master pointed out after his second goblet.

Albus emptied his third. "You could tell him I insisted to make it my Sunday roast."

"What?" roared Aberforth. He brought his fist down on the table. "This sheep is under my personal protection. It will not be roasted!"

"I said tell him, not actually do it!" Albus pointed out. He held out his goblet for a refill.

"That's okay," muttered Aberforth. "Tell is okay."

Severus and the headmaster returned to the castle late.


	19. 19

*19*

The first thing the potions master did on Sunday morning was send his memory of the sheep attack to the Dark Lord. A very pleased answer was delivered by the Dark Lord's trademark vulture at lunch time.

The bird had barely left that Granger, Potter and Weasley arrived. Severus smirked at the red-head. "Back to the task after you heard that yesterday's gift was entirely harmless?" he drawled.

"I was writing that extra assignment you gave me!" the boy defended himself.

The potions master shrugged. "It seems that making you write things over and over is the only way to penetrate your thick skull. I'm paid to teach you and teach you I will, no matter which methods you require! Miss Granger, shall we open the next window?"

"Why not," the girl smiled weakly. She held her wand ready when Severus touched his wand tip to an excitedly blinking skull on the tree.

Granger and Potter both blushed crimson.

"What?" asked the potions master. He couldn't detect any change on the two students.

"I think I'm a boy," piped Granger.

"I think I'm missing something rather important." Potter blushed even more.

"What?" asked Weasley.

Severus rolled his eyes. How thick could someone who came from a family with so many children be?

"What has happened?" Weasley repeated insistently.

"Your friends," drawled Severus, "have either been subjected to a sex changing or a sex EXchanging charm. We can't be sure."

"What do you mean 'exchanging'?" cried Potter. "Do you think she has my … you know?"

Weasley blushed and paled in quick succession when he finally caught on.

"That's possible," Severus informed the Gryffindor saviour to be. "The only person who can tell for sure is you."

Potter faced Granger. "Show me!" he demanded.

"Have you gone nuts?" Granger wrapped her arms around her frame protectively. "I will not!"

"But I need to know!" insisted Potter.

"If you knew it wouldn't make any difference," Granger said dismissively. "This is childish. The professor couldn't tell what had happened, so nobody else will notice. I have homework to do. I'll see you tomorrow, Professor Snape." She turned and left without waiting for Potter's answer. Her robes billowed dramatically, almost like Severus's when he was at his best.

"Wait!" cried Potter and set out after the girl. "You can't just leave with my…"

"You better go and keep them from killing each other, Mr Weasley," Severus suggested. The red head didn't need to be told twice.

The rest of his Sunday, Severus whistled merry Christmas songs while he walked around the castle. He only interrupted his whistling for taking points and snarling at hapless students.

That evening, Minerva McGonagall missed dinner at the Great Hall. Rumour had it that there had been disagreements and quarrels in Gryffindor house all day. Severus decided to send a thank-you note to the Dark Lord.


	20. 20

*20*

After another excruciating Monday morning Severus was half eager half annoyed to meet Granger and Potter. Annoyed, because he really didn't feel like meeting Gryffindors after the imbecility he had had to face during his morning lessons, eager, because he was a bit curious to learn whether Granger and Potter were their old selves again.

Before he could inquire about the Gryffindors' wellbeing, Weasley shook his head behind the others' backs. Severus made a mental note to ask McGonagall what had happened.

"Thank you for coming," he said instead of the question he actually wanted to ask. "Shall we?"

Granger and Potter both looked scared but being true Gryffindors they agreed.

The skull of the day blinked in changing colours. Severus touched it carefully and nearly dropped the advent calendar.

"What happened?" cried Weasley. "Aaaaargh!" he screamed when he looked in the other's faces, and he had every reason to.

Instinctively Severus reached for his nose and blew a breath of relief when it was still there, something that couldn't be said for Weasley's, Granger's and Potter's.

"Can you breathe?" asked the potions master.

Luckily the trio nodded.

Since magical mishaps were not so rare in a school full of magical teenagers, Severus sent the trio back to their lessons. It became clear that Severus's advent calendar assistants weren't going to stand out the moment the potions master left his office.

"Good day, Mr Malfoy," Severus nodded at the now nose-less Slytherin solemnly. His long experience as a spy allowed him to keep a straight expression. On his way to the classroom, Severus took another dozen of noses.

The students in his next class cried out in shock when their noses disappeared but Severus scared them back into obedience and the lesson was nearly normal but for the fact that the students couldn't "add violet blossoms until the potion has a lovely scent of the flowers".

Between the lessons and dinner, Severus was on duty in the grounds. Since it had been a clear winter day and the headmaster had the ordered the elves to light some fires for the students to warm when they were taking breaks in their activities, most of the students were outside. Severus walked down the path to the lake, across the lawn where a crowd of lower years were building snow men. Nose after nose disappeared but rumours about the nose-disappearing spell had spread quickly and nobody seemed to care too much.

"Professor Snape," piped a tiny Hufflepuff girl, "do you know a spell to make my snowman wave at people walking by?" Several other children gasped. Asking Severus Snape about fun spells was something that wasn't done!

"Of course, Miss Merryweather," the potions master reassured the now noseless child. He told the girl the incantation first and then showed her the wand movement. "And at last you have to…" he motioned the child closer and whispered the last piece of information into her ear.

"Thank you, Sir!" breathed the girl excitedly.

"You deserve to have the only waving snowman since you were the only one brave enough to ask." Severus watched the girl perform the spell. The snow man waved at him and Severus waved back without thinking. "Well done, Miss Merryweather. Take one point to Hufflepuff for extracurricular work."

When Severus returned to the castle for dinner, Albus awaited him by the door. His beard looked a little lost without a nose to snuggle up to. "I wonder when and how we're going to get our noses back," mused the headmaster. "I just hope it won't be a long ceremony like with the pants."

"We'd be at it forever!" cried Severus.

The return of the noses turned out to be even worse than that. After dessert, a large basket appeared in the aisle between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables. Students scrambled to get hold of their noses, it was not a pretty sight.

The headmaster took control of the situation. He sent the students back to their seats. "Any suggestions how to solve this quickly?" he asked.

"I suggest we sort the noses by colour first." Severus raised a brow at the headmaster.

"A reasonable suggestion," Albus agreed. He conjured several smaller baskets and ordered four seventh years, one from each house, to do as Severus had suggested.

Soon all the students of darker skin colour had their noses back. Unfortunately they were a minority at Hogwarts and the number of nose-less people was still high.

Next, Severus suggested sorting the noses by size. That gave all the very young and many seventh years their noses back.

A Ravenclaw suggested looking for freckles and scars, which took care of another dozen of students.

The rest had to go looking for their noses. The headmaster cleared the Head Table and the still unclaimed noses were laid out. The students were asked to file by the table and look at the noses on display and get theirs if they spotted it.

There was a nasty scene when the Miller twins quarrelled over a nose. The headmaster had to interfere again.

Surprisingly, it was Harry Potter who solved the whole problem at last. He called his nose with a simple 'Accio!' and it came. The students who had already mastered the summoning spell followed Potter's lead. The teachers and prefects summoned their noses for the younger students.

Nevertheless the whole process took nearly three hours. Once everybody had their nose back, the headmaster sent the students to bed and nobody objected.


	21. 21

*21*

Tuesday was quiet. Severus spent his morning teaching and for once there were no catastrophes during his lessons. Even Joanne Kay, who was on the way to break Longbottom's record of ruined cauldrons during her first year, managed to keep her things intact and even produce a decent infusion of camellia sinensis. Not that that was a special achievement. Camellia sinensis was easy to handle. It all but came in bags.

Since he didn't need to stay behind to get rid of melted cauldrons, splashed potions and poisonous clouds in the classroom, Severus even allowed himself the luxury of lunch in the Great Hall. The company there was often annoying but there was a greater variety of food to choose from than if the elves served lunch in his office.

"Severus, how nice of you to join us!" McGonagall greeted him from afar. The other heads of house were sitting together, immersed in conversation. "Sit down!" The witch pulled out a chair at her left.

"Is there an occasion for this gathering?" asked the potions master.

"Not really or we would have notified you," Sprout said kindly. "We were just talking about that nose removing charm yesterday. It was great!"

"Really?" Severus was surprised. Sprout hadn't sounded thrilled when she had to go looking for her nose.

"Yes! The students are convinced that something strange is going on here at Hogwarts. They were splashed with their drinks, lost their underwear, lost their noses… Are you aware that not a single student signed up to stay at the castle for Christmas? We have a good chance of being actually free. Albus will have to pay us that skiing excursion finally."

Severus smirked. "That would be great!" Dumbledore had promised his teachers years ago that there was going to be a skiing excursion as a bonus for the teachers, but only if there were no students who needed to be looked after during the holidays. Severus had looked it up. There was only one Christmas in Hogwarts' history when not a single student had stayed behind. In 1307, the headmaster had sent everybody away in order to be able to work on the warding spells over the holidays.

The potions master rubbed his hands with glee. Not that he knew how to ski but when the excursion was for free, he'd certainly give it a try and when Dumbledore had to pay, he'd enjoy it this way or that.

Then he remembered. "What about Potter? The boy has never gone home for the holidays."

"The Weasleys sent an invitation and being his head of house," Minerva grinned, "I granted permission to go."

"You are aware that Albus has the right to overrule you," Flitwick chimed in.

"He won't," Minerva said with an air of superiority. "Sybil made a prediction that Harry will suffer a violent death if he stays at the castle."

Severus snorted. "He doesn't honestly believe her!"

"Enough to allow Potter to go." Minerva handed him a small bowl of walnut ice-cream as dessert.

After lunch, Severus went to his office to open the advent calendar. The Gryffindor trio was already waiting in front of the door. The potions master ushered them in and then opened his window without much ado.

"Beautiful!" cried Granger as soon as Severus had touched the skull. Strangely enough she was looking at him.

The potions master looked down his robes. Stars were twinkling on the black background. He looked like a walking starry sky.

"Great," he muttered, "now I have to change before my next lesson!"

"Oh," Granger sounded disappointed. "Leave them on! They are beautiful! Look! You have Auriga on your chest!"

"That's what I need," snorted the potions master, "my students searching me for constellations." He sent the trio off and hurried to his private rooms to change robes before his next lesson. He had to admit though, that the starry robes, indeed, looked nice.

The choice whether to change or not was taken from him when he opened his wardrobe. Every single robe he had twinkled. Severus shrugged and returned to his classroom.

He had been right. The students stared at him all the time. Children even pretended to have questions in order to be able to look closer. By dinner time, Severus was ready to throttle the next person who pointed out that he had Auriga on his chest. At least everybody was merry. Who would have thought that astronomy was such a mood lightener! There was a lot of giggling and laughing, but it couldn't be helped and as long as the students also brewed what they were supposed to, Severus didn't say anything about it.

Albus, of course, loved the new robes. He was a bit jealous because he didn't possess anything similar.

"Do you think it's a copy of the sky outside, like the ceiling?" the old man asked enthusiastically."

"If it was, it would change," the Astronomy teacher, Sinistra, remarked from the side. "But it obviously can't be, since we don't have a full moon."

"A full moon?" Severus echoed. There was no moon on his robes, was there?

"A full moon," confirmed the witch. She looked at Severus midsection pointedly.

It took the potions master a moment to catch on. Then he twisted and turn to see his behind. Albus finally helped him by conjuring a body-sized mirror. Yes, there it was! A big bright full moon was shining right on the potions master's behind! No wonder everybody had been so merry!

With a harrumph, Severus sat on the offensive celestial body and reached for the potatoes.


	22. 22

*22*

Severus had been so busy all December that it came as a surprise to him to find all the students ready and packed at breakfast on Wednesday although he had, of course, known for months that this was the day for the students to return home.

"Are you ready?" McGonagall asked excitedly when the potions master sat between her and Dumbledore at the Head Table.

"Ready?" echoed Severus.

"The portkey to the Alps is scheduled for 09:05," Dumbledore informed his potions instructor. "I sent the house elves to notify you yesterday evening. Of course, if you are not packed, you cannot come."

"That's five minutes after the express leaves!" protested Severus. The elf intended to notify him must have been too scared to wake him.

"I can take over your duties after breakfast," McGonagall offered. "It would be a pity if you missed the skiing!"

Severus thanked the witch and wolfed down his breakfast as quickly as possible before he returned to the dungeons to pack his things for the skiing holiday. It was quick work because Severus didn't possess many outfits to choose from. On the way back up to the Great Hall, the potions master threw his advent calendar into his bag. Merlin knew what would happen if he didn't open the remaining windows on time.

At 09:04 he entered the Great Hall to find all his colleagues gathered around the headmaster and touching the old wizard's bright green cloak. Severus joined the group. The departure started with a tugging feeling behind his navel. Then a feeling of being squeezed into a too tight space followed and then Severus felt freezing cold.

The last had nothing to do with travelling by portkey but rather with the fact that they had arrived in the mountains where it was even colder than in wintry Scotland.

"Did you have to take us right into waist high snow, Albus?" asked the deputy headmistress sourly.

"We can return if you don't like it," offered the headmaster.

"Definitely not!" snarled the witch. "Where is our hotel?"

The old wizard pointed at a building some hundred metres away and the woman started to wade through the snow towards it. The other teachers formed a row behind her and followed. After a short distance, Severus took over playing the snow plough and then Sinistra, and then Sprout and even Trelawney helped out. The only one excused was Flitwick who had a hard enough time following in his colleagues wake.

The hotel was operated by an elderly muggle woman and her son. The landlady showed the witches and wizards to their rooms. The headmaster had booked only double rooms for monetary reasons and Flitwick even got a cot in the room which was supposed to be shared by Hagrid and Filch. The small wizard protested but Albus just pointed out that they were an odd number of men and that he had no intention to pay a single room.

It was a good thing that Severus hadn't brought many clothes for the headmaster filled their shared wardrobe with his easily. Once everybody was settled in, the landlady's son showed the group where to meet their skiing instructor.

The instructor was a young man with too much smile for his own good but – what a pleasant surprise – he was a wizard. He showed the Hogwarts group which items and which kind of clothes they were going to need and waited patiently until they had transfigured what was necessary. There was a short commotion when nobody thought to help Filch but finally Dumbledore caught on and transfigured his things for the caretaker.

Skiing was, surprisingly, fun. True, they only went to a small hill the first day, but Severus turned out to be the most talented of the group and enjoyed himself immensely.

Back at the hotel he remembered his advent calendar and opened the window before they met to go for dinner. A small bottle appeared on the bedside table. Severus sniffed it carefully and performed a few spells before he decided it was a harmless perfume. It didn't smell bad, so he put a small drop behind his ear to get rid of the smell of plain hotel soap after his shower.

Dinner was at a small restaurant near the hotel. Severus didn't suspect anything when Vectra and Sinistra clutched to one of his elbows each for the walk to "prevent them from slipping". He even didn't think of evil when Sprout elbowed McGonagall aside to sit beside him.

It only dawned to him that something was amiss when three waitresses came to their table and he was the only one who was asked what he wanted to eat.

"Your performance on skis was so inspiring, Severus," Trelawney breathed at him from the other side of the table. She batted her lashes.

"Yes!" agreed Sprout. "You are so skilful!" She looked up at the potions master dreamily.

"Is he?" a group of muggle women pulled their chairs closer to hear everything about Severus's abilities.

Dinner was a strained affair. Severus tried to ignore the growing groups of women mooning over him and fled between the main course and dessert under the pretence of needing the washroom. Luckily it was quite late and not many people were in the streets. It was no big problem to reach the hotel unaffected.

With a sigh of relief, Severus closed the door of his room. This perfume was a menace! It was a miracle he had made it to safety and a blessing that he shared his room with a man.


	23. 23

*23*

After a very disturbing night, Severus took a long shower to get rid of the last bit of perfume. Once he had covered himself with soap foam head to toe the second time, Albus stopped knocking at the bathroom door and the potions master relaxed. Lucius was going to pay for this! For one thing was clear for Severus, the only deatheater accomplished enough at potions to brew that infernal perfume was the blond.

Once Severus's smell was back to boring, the potions master went down to breakfast. Albus followed him, somewhat embarrassed.

McGonagall and Sprout were already there. "What have you been doing all night?" complained the head of Gryffindor. "We needed silencing spells to sleep at all!"

Albus blushed. "We had a passionate discussion about potions," Severus informed his colleagues without batting a lash. "Hias said I can try one of the more difficult ski-run today. Will any of you join me?"

The women answered in the negative. "Filius may," Pomona pointed out. "He did well yesterday."

The conversation was interrupted by Trelawney arriving with Sinistra supporting her. "Oh headmaster!" the woman cried. "It's terrible!" She wailed when she spotted the potions master. "Oh Severus! Let me shake your hand one last time!" She staggered to his side and fell to Severus's neck, spilling his coffee all over the table in the course and knocking over the headmaster's cereal bowl.

"What is it, Sybil?" Albus asked excitedly.

"A dream! I had a prophetic dream!" howled the woman. "Our poor Severus! Oh!"

"What will happen to Severus?" demanded the headmaster. McGonagall looked disquieted.

"An avalanche!" Trelawney sobbed. "It will kill him! Filius will be badly hurt but can be saved but Severus…" The seer clung to the potions master with all her power.

"At the moment I rather fear you will throttle me, woman," Severus tried to free himself from the seer but she was surprisingly strong.

"That's it!" the headmaster brought down his fist on the table. "I will not endanger one of my highest esteemed co-workers! We're going home after breakfast!"

"We are not!" cried McGonagall. "You only want to save money! Sybil, what did he promise you in exchange for this little show?"

"The inner eye cannot be bribed!" howled Trelawney.

There was a long row but the headmaster won. By lunch, they were all back at Hogwarts. Severus invited the headmaster to the dungeons "since he was so worried about his potions master's safety."

"I hope today's spell is really nasty!" he growled when he touched the softly glowing skull on the little Christmas tree.

As soon as he touched the skull, the world changed. The first thing Severus noticed was that the headmaster was suddenly a mouse; a big grey mouse with white whiskers and dingy ears. The second was that his perspective had changed. He was looking up at most things.

A quick inspection of his body revealed that he had been turned into a big black cat. Excellent! Spitting, he lunged at Albus. The mouse squeaked and took flight. Severus pursued it and chased the skiing-trip thief around the room several times before he chased him out of the office and up to the Entrance Hall.

"A mouse?" cried Mr Filch who was cleaning away the snow they had brought in when they returned. He slammed down his mop on the headmaster but in midair the tool lost momentum because the caretaker had been turned into a – slightly smaller and brownish – mouse, too.

Oh, this was good!

Severus spent the best part of the afternoon turning people into mice and scaring the living daylights out of them. The only one he spared was Sprout because he didn't feel like going out into the snow to find her.

Trelawney was the only one he nearly ate. Of course he didn't but he took a little piece off her tail for spoiling his skiing fun.

He was just after the muggle studies teacher, when a tabby cat joined him. The potions master made a mental note to investigate later why McGonagall, an animagus, hadn't turned into a mouse. At the moment though, all Severus wanted to do was enjoy the hunt. McGonagall seemed to think along the same line. Together, they chased Charity around her classroom before the potions master followed the deputy headmistress to Trelawney's rooms for another round of seer hunting.

In the evening, the two cats went to the kitchens.

"Professor McGonagall, Madam," a house elf bowed when they entered. "Professor Snape, Sir!" He brought a big bowl of cream for them.

After a simple but delicious meal, the two cats withdrew to the dungeons since they were closer than the deputy headmistress's rooms. They curled up to each other on the rug in front of Severus's fireplace and fell asleep.

At some point around midnight, the potions master woke, back to his human self. He stroked the cat curled up to him and cast a warming spell on her before he went to bed.

As far as Severus was concerned, this had been the best window so far.


	24. 24

*24*

Severus nearly fell over McGonagall when he went up to breakfast the next morning. The tabby hissed at him angrily when he missed her tail narrowly.

"It's Christmas, Minerva! Let's not quarrel!" Severus stooped and picked the cat up to scratch her ears. The tabby purred and allowed herself to be carried up to the Great Hall. Only when they reached the doors, she struggled and the potions master set her down on the floor. The witch transformed and straightened her robes.

"Thank you for the fun, Severus," she smiled. "I loved how you didn't let Filius out from under the desk."

"You weren't bad either," the potions master gave the compliment back. "You have to show me that jump you surprised Vector with at some point."

The witch and wizard were greeted with icy silence when they entered the hall.

"What did you do with Filius?" the headmaster asked icily.

"Why are we accused?" Severus asked innocently, ever the Slytherin.

The headmaster glared at him sternly. "Don't be childish! Everybody knows Minerva's animagus form and I saw you transform."

"The white skull on your forehead was a dead giveaway," snapped Sinistra.

Severus blushed. They had recognized him? Then he remembered. The house elf had called him by his name, too! "What happened to Filius?" he asked with a feeling of dread.

"Don't act innocent!" growled the headmaster. "Filius is still missing! What did you do to him?"

"Nothing, I swear!" Severus reached for the bacon, but Sprout snatched it away.

"Minerva, say something!" cried the potions master.

The deputy headmistress put down her napkin. It was unjust! Why did the witch get something to eat? "We didn't do anything to Filius," she confirmed. "Have you gone looking for him? Maybe he wants to make some last minute improvement to the decorations?"

"We thought you had him," admitted the headmaster. He snapped his fingers and the food disappeared. "Let's try to find him!"

The teachers walked up to the smallest Hogwarts teacher's office together. Albus overruled the charms teacher's wards and they entered the office.

"Filius?" the headmaster cried.

"Albus?" came the answer immediately. "Thank Merlin, you found me!"

"Where are you?"

"In the bottom drawer of my desk!" cried the small wizard. "I fell asleep in here and when I woke, I was back in human form and couldn't get out."

Severus hurried to open the drawer in question. Even being tiny, Flitwick was curled up uncomfortably. The deputy headmistress stepped forward and assisted the potions master in helping the small man out.

"That was a wonderful charm you used yesterday!" enthused the wizard once he was free. "How did you do it, Severus?"

The potions master blushed. He'd rather not tell but after the uncomfortable time he had spent, Flitwick deserved to know.

"I can't tell," the potions master explained. "It was my gift from my advent calendar."

"You have an advent calendar again and you didn't share it with us?" cried McGonagall. "I never took you for selfish, Severus!"

"I couldn't!" the potions master defended himself. "This year, I got my calendar from the Dark Lord! It was spelled so that I was the only one who could open a window! And did you really want to find out what the Dark Lord considered an appropriate advent gift?"

"The nose stealing charm!" cried Sprout.

"The underwear removing hex!" cried Vector.

"That was all you!" the witches cried in unison.

"The Dark Lord," corrected the headmaster.

"May we at least see the calendar?" Flitwick asked eagerly.

Severus shrugged. "I don't see why not. You are all grown witches and wizards. I shall fetch it after breakfast, shall I?"

"Breakfast would be great," agreed the charms teacher.

After the meal, Severus fetched the advent calendar. There was no blinking skull, but there was an eerie glow from under the dementor's hood.

The witches and wizards assembled around the tree and admired the details. "Excellent spell-work," praised Flitwick. The others agreed. "Can you open it?" the charms teacher asked eagerly.

Severus nodded and touched the little dementor with the tip of his wand.

A white dove, the wizarding symbol of peace, appeared. It fluttered around the Great Hall. And then they came!

Deatheater after deatheater appeared in the Great Hall! The last one to arrive was the Dark Lord himself.

"Merry Christmas, Severus!" he cried merrily. He was wearing a red Santa hat.

Within a half hour, a Christmas party was under way. The Dark Lord and Albus Dumbledore were seen drinking eggnog together. Severus discussed the perfume he had got with Bellatrix Lestrange who had turned out to have been the unexpected brewer. Lucius Malfoy and Filius Flitwick discussed charms over goblets of mulled mead.

Later, there was even a dance. Albus waltzed with Narcissa Malfoy and Lucius Malfoy with Sybil Trelawney. Severus ended a heated discussion between Minerva and Wormtail about "whether they should transform for the dance" by pulling the witch to his chest and whirling her around the dance floor.

It was, indeed, a merry Christmas.

Authors note:  A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all my readers! Thank you for sticking with this little tale and thank you for the nice reviews. Now, if you want to make the author happy, go and read my other stories. May I recommend "Pawns"? It was the first one I posted here and therefore special to me.

Next year there may be a new calendar. I got an idea but I can't tell whether I'll have the time to write it. Life is busy.


End file.
